This kinda sounds like a poem
if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused
Every teenager in the world feels broken or out of place, different somehow, royalty mistakenly born into a family of peasants. The difference in your case is that it’s true.
"After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."
- Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.
as a scientist I can confirm that this is definitely how percentages and fractions work, and yes, the ocean is 10% celery, which is why we cannot drink ocean water, for we would choke on the celery
This is the devil’s favorite post
Did you see them
Lying where they died?
Someone used to craddle them
And kiss them when they cried.
Where's that new world now the fighting's done?
Lies we tell our kids. Found this from the postsecret blog.
THEYRE ALL CUTE AND FUNNY UNTIL YOU GET TO THE LAST ONE AND THEN YOU ARE ASSAULTED BY FEELINGS
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this
stupidest/most awesome joke ever